All The Single Ladies... (Part 1)

“All the single ladies (all the single ladies)... Now put your hands up!”

-Beyoncé, Singer/Songwriter 

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“I wasn’t looking for a promise or commitment, but it wasn’t just fun

and I thought you were different”

-Ed Sheeran, Singer/Songwriter

 “Everybody’s looking for love... Ain’t that the reason you’re at this club?”

Jason Derulo, Singer/Songwriter

“Cause I just wanna look good for you... Let me show you how proud I am to be yours.”

Selena Gomez, Actress/Singer

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“35 Best Flirting Tips”, Seventeen Magazine

“Am I in Love?” Take This Quiz!, Seventeen Magazine

“17 Things That Instantly Make Girls a Million Times Hotter”, Seventeen Magazine

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“Seven Crucial Rules for Dating Your Friends Ex”, Cosmopolitan Magazine

“Get What You Want”, Cosmopolitan Magazine

“Talking Tricks That Draw Him In” Cosmopolitan Magazine

And there is more where that came from...

As you can see the world has plenty to say about your love life, dating and relationships.  It is easy to get bombarded with opinions of how far is too far, what lines to cross or not cross, how to get this guy to notice you or how to break up with that guy. Frankly all the noise can make things confusing and fuzzy, conflicting with how to date well. Or better yet, how to do single life well. Because looky there, I just made the mistake of putting you in a box, assuming that as a single person you want to be dating. Luckily, I also just proved a point that everybody’s got some type of advice or viewpoint for all the single ladies.

I must confess, I haven’t been single for about 12 years now (7 of those years being marriage). In keeping the spirit of honesty, I don’t think I can say I did dating or single life well back in the day either. So I asked God about it. As I sat down to think about what I could write to the single crowd (because I feel for ya!) God laid this verse on my heart:

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.” Matthew 5:13 (NIV)

We are called to be the salt of the earth. What does salt do? Salt is a seasoning, it adds flavor to a bland meal. It is used as a preservative, to keep meat from spoiling. Salt is also used to purify contaminated water. But if the salt itself becomes contaminated then it can no longer be used as a seasoning, preservative or purifier. Its power and influence becomes as bland as the food it is trying to season.

As I sit with this verse, the word preserve is what I keep hearing over and over again. Preserve.

The world will tell you a lot about how to be single, how to date, who to love, how to love and on and on. It is no secret dear ones that the world gets it wrong. All of that worldly noise can contaminate your heart and mind. When you seek advice and knowledge from man and his ways, you can lose your saltiness. To retain that saltiness you must preserve God’s Word.

“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” Psalm 119:11 (NIV)

Preserve God’s way of doing things. Filter every piece of advice through His Word. It is good to seek wise counsel but align everything with what God says about you. If you are seeking God, hiding His Word in your heart then He will direct your path. Maybe the “Am I in Love?” quiz is fun, but is it getting you to where you need to be?  The song with a good beat that makes you want to dance, are the lyrics filling your heart with God things? The way you are spending your time, either alone or with another, is it keeping you salty? And by salty, I mean pure and full of flavor, seasoning those you influence with the gospel.

It can be easy to fall into the pattern of the world and follow its lead but as daughters of God you are called to be salt and light. You are called to preserve God’s Word and season everything with the taste of the gospel. You are called to be a light shining bright on a hill. It can be hard to stand on a hill and shine your light but you are not alone in it.

“You are a light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV)

Post by: Jimmie Lee DiIanni

Ladies, be sure to stay tuned for Part 2 of Jimmie Lee's series "All the Single Ladies", coming in early November!