Time Well Spent

My husband, Donald, and I went on a breakfast date the other day.  We have a special, out of the way place that we like to visit often. As we sat across from each other over a table of pancakes, bacon, and fried eggs, we reminisced about what our “dates” used to look like not that long ago...

Back when we only had two little ones, Donald and I used to work opposite shifts.  Even with our crazy schedules, we still had to utilize daycare.  Did I mention that our two oldest daughters are only 15 months apart? Well, they are.  That meant we had two babies in diapers at once. On top of that, one was on very expensive, super-special formula.  (One would have thought that each can was painstakingly crafted by hand by some sort of powdered formula artisans and packaged in a 14 carat gold canister, but I digress.)

Anyhow, we had no extra money at the time.  Like zilch.  That meant there were no movie dates or fancy dinners out.  Plus, since we worked opposite shifts, we really couldn’t take advantage the free babysitters we had. (Shout out to all the grandparents and Auntie Jill!)

Donald and I reached the point where we needed some way to have a “date” without leaving the house and without spending extra money.  That’s when I had the idea to start renting movies from the library.  It was free, I could request whatever we wanted to watch, and we could watch it at any time.  Plus, did I mention it was free?!? That’s when we also discovered that Aldi has some tasty (and inexpensive) snacks!  So for our “date nights” we would watch a movie and eat our special snack.  It wasn’t super fancy but it was exactly what we both needed at the time. 

Looking back I treasure those at-home “date nights”.  I wouldn’t trade them for anything.  Those evenings brought us time together as a couple to reconnect, have some laughs, all while we snuggled up on the couch.

Now we find ourselves in yet another season.  The season of all three kids in school all day.  The season of me staying home and Donald having a day off during the week that we can use to catch a matinee movie or enjoy breakfast out. And it’s amazing.  I like to think that we are even closer now and stronger as a couple for having endured that season of our marriage back then. Investing in your marriage in the here and now will always pay off as the years go by. 

And I like to think that’s how it is with our relationship with the Lord as well.  There will always be different seasons.  Seasons when you can dig down deep into His Word with no regard to time and seasons when maybe all you can read is but 5 minutes before the baby starts to cry.  Times when you are experiencing incredible closeness and times when you wonder if He is near (which, He so very much is, by the way). Seasons when you are on the mountaintop, praising Him and seasons when you are in the valley, crying out in prayer.

But can I tell you, it is so worth it to keep that relationship going.  It is so worth it to adjust and figure out a new way to spend time with the Lord when what you are used to gets mixed up. Maybe that means hanging out in your car just to get a moment alone and singing along to some worship music.  Maybe that means shifting your prayer time from the wee hours of the morning to the end of the day.  It could even mean putting down your phone (eek!) and picking up your Bible. Because the thing is, the closer you draw near to God, the closer He will draw near to you.  Your relationship with Him will grow deeper and stronger. And I promise you, just like a date with your sweetheart, it will never be time that is wasted but time well spent.

“I love all who love me. Those who search will surely find me.” Proverbs 8:17 (NLT)

Post by: Marcy Gates

From One Momma To Another...

I had the awesome opportunity to attend the Encourage / North Country Open House for new parents a couple weeks ago.  As I sat among the mommas-to-be with adorable baby bumps and others snuggling new babies, I remembered those early days of parenthood.  I did the math and it has been ten years since I was pregnant with my first baby. That’s a DECADE ago!  When they say that the “days are long but the years are short”, when you have a baby, it is so true...

But Marcy from ten years ago probably would not have believed it.  She was too busy reading every baby book she could.  She was tracking her pregnancy through “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”. And when that wasn’t enough, there were always plenty of blogs and articles to read up on. (Thanks Google.)

You know, you can read every blog, book, and magazine about parenting there is but nothing really prepares you for when they wheel you out the door of the hospital and you load that precious newborn into the car to head home.  It’s a bit daunting realizing the nurses aren’t there to help you at 3 a.m.  Most likely, something will come up with that little bundle of joy that you just can’t find an answer to in that stack of baby books. (I.e. why won’t he/she stop crying?!?!?)

And so that leads me to this piece of advice...  You are not in this alone.  The days are long.  And hard.  And very often, filled with more tears on your part than your baby’s!  (Sleep deprivation and changing hormones are a powerful force my friends.)  Remember that you and your husband are a team.  It will be you and him asleep in bed together, both pretending it is not your turn to get up with the baby for what seems like the twentieth time in the middle of the night, lol! It will be the both of you that your baby will save special coos and smiles for.  And it will be the both of you that will be picking up binkies and getting spit up on. 

You are a team.  That means both of you play an integral part and you both work together for the good of the team.  For me and my husband, that meant we both got up at night when the baby cried but switched off who fed her and who changed her.  For us, this was the best way to quiet our baby, feed her, and get her back to sleep. We were like a NASCAR pit crew with diaper changes and bottle preparation! And, bonus, whoever was on diaper duty, got to go right back to bed! (Let’s be honest, who is able to sleep through a screaming baby, knowing your partner is struggling to change a diaper and get the baby fed?!)

And you know what every team needs? A coach! Your team will need guidance, wisdom, instruction, and encouragement!  I just happen to know someone who is the PERFECT Coach and Father.  He knows you, your partner, and your baby – even better than YOU do!  Or course I am talking about God! You are not in this parenting gig alone.  God is with you every step of the way!  He is cheering you on and instructing you in the way you should go!

“The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8 (NLT)

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ear will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21 (NIV)

I distinctly remember being terribly sleep deprived with my third baby.  Just the exhaustion of recovering from being pregnant and having a baby is tough, but I also had two other little ones to take care of as well. On top of that, neither one of them were very fond of naps or sleeping through the night.  I recall sneaking into the bedroom to nap while my newborn was napping and my husband was entertaining my two older girls.  They were loud in that oh so special toddler way and I was just so, so tired.  Think of the time that you were the most exhausted you have ever been in your life.  Now multiply that by ten and that, my friends, is how tired I was!  I prayed, no, literally begged Jesus for sleep.  God met me in that moment and my eyes closed.  I think that may have been the sweetest, most restful nap of my life.

Don’t be afraid to ask God for what you need in the moment.  Don’t think a request for a nap is selfish or silly.  God wants to meet your needs.  He wants to help you be the best mom or dad you can be.  If that means praying your baby sleeps an extra ten minutes so you can shower or asking God to show you the best way to calm your baby down – go for it!  After all, no one knows your little one better that the One who created that tiny miracle.

“How gracious God will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.” Isaiah 30:19 (NIV)

So you and your husband are a team. God is your Coach. Well, who is cheering you on??  All of us!  Your family, your friends, your church family.  We are all here for you!  We are your wildest fans!  We are lifting you up in prayer.  We are encouraging you at every twist and turn. And we are bringing you food.  (Because new parents are tired.  Y’all need a good casserole, you know, to keep your strength up, lol!)

Seriously, your “fans” are going to be there for you too!  Grandparents will want to rock their grandbabies.  (Side note new parents: that is when you NAP.  Have I clearly stated how important naps are yet?! Ha!) Family and friends will be on your doorstep with gift bags and smiles!  (And even better, with take-out!) Your church family will be so excited to see you bring your little one through the doors of West Ridge for the very first time! 

Another side note: it is no secret, those Bunny Room Volunteers in North Country LOVE babies!  I think the awesomeness of the Bunny Room is one of the reasons North Country is so special.  There are plenty of people to snuggle your baby and to read them Bible stories all while Christian music plays in the background.  Plus, when you drop off your little peanut in the Bunny Room, then you are able to really focus on worship and the message in the Sanctuary. Which allows God to pour into you, thus making you able to pour out what God has given to you.  Essentially, it’s a win-win for everyone!

So to all you couples expecting babies and those of you who are new parents, remember, you are not in this by yourselves!  You have God, you have each other, and you have all of us!  The days will be long, the years will be short.  In ten years you will look back on these days and remember what a blessing they truly were. You will smile and remember... You were never alone.

 Post by: Marcy Gates