From One Momma To Another...

I had the awesome opportunity to attend the Encourage / North Country Open House for new parents a couple weeks ago.  As I sat among the mommas-to-be with adorable baby bumps and others snuggling new babies, I remembered those early days of parenthood.  I did the math and it has been ten years since I was pregnant with my first baby. That’s a DECADE ago!  When they say that the “days are long but the years are short”, when you have a baby, it is so true...

But Marcy from ten years ago probably would not have believed it.  She was too busy reading every baby book she could.  She was tracking her pregnancy through “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”. And when that wasn’t enough, there were always plenty of blogs and articles to read up on. (Thanks Google.)

You know, you can read every blog, book, and magazine about parenting there is but nothing really prepares you for when they wheel you out the door of the hospital and you load that precious newborn into the car to head home.  It’s a bit daunting realizing the nurses aren’t there to help you at 3 a.m.  Most likely, something will come up with that little bundle of joy that you just can’t find an answer to in that stack of baby books. (I.e. why won’t he/she stop crying?!?!?)

And so that leads me to this piece of advice...  You are not in this alone.  The days are long.  And hard.  And very often, filled with more tears on your part than your baby’s!  (Sleep deprivation and changing hormones are a powerful force my friends.)  Remember that you and your husband are a team.  It will be you and him asleep in bed together, both pretending it is not your turn to get up with the baby for what seems like the twentieth time in the middle of the night, lol! It will be the both of you that your baby will save special coos and smiles for.  And it will be the both of you that will be picking up binkies and getting spit up on. 

You are a team.  That means both of you play an integral part and you both work together for the good of the team.  For me and my husband, that meant we both got up at night when the baby cried but switched off who fed her and who changed her.  For us, this was the best way to quiet our baby, feed her, and get her back to sleep. We were like a NASCAR pit crew with diaper changes and bottle preparation! And, bonus, whoever was on diaper duty, got to go right back to bed! (Let’s be honest, who is able to sleep through a screaming baby, knowing your partner is struggling to change a diaper and get the baby fed?!)

And you know what every team needs? A coach! Your team will need guidance, wisdom, instruction, and encouragement!  I just happen to know someone who is the PERFECT Coach and Father.  He knows you, your partner, and your baby – even better than YOU do!  Or course I am talking about God! You are not in this parenting gig alone.  God is with you every step of the way!  He is cheering you on and instructing you in the way you should go!

“The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8 (NLT)

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ear will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21 (NIV)

I distinctly remember being terribly sleep deprived with my third baby.  Just the exhaustion of recovering from being pregnant and having a baby is tough, but I also had two other little ones to take care of as well. On top of that, neither one of them were very fond of naps or sleeping through the night.  I recall sneaking into the bedroom to nap while my newborn was napping and my husband was entertaining my two older girls.  They were loud in that oh so special toddler way and I was just so, so tired.  Think of the time that you were the most exhausted you have ever been in your life.  Now multiply that by ten and that, my friends, is how tired I was!  I prayed, no, literally begged Jesus for sleep.  God met me in that moment and my eyes closed.  I think that may have been the sweetest, most restful nap of my life.

Don’t be afraid to ask God for what you need in the moment.  Don’t think a request for a nap is selfish or silly.  God wants to meet your needs.  He wants to help you be the best mom or dad you can be.  If that means praying your baby sleeps an extra ten minutes so you can shower or asking God to show you the best way to calm your baby down – go for it!  After all, no one knows your little one better that the One who created that tiny miracle.

“How gracious God will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.” Isaiah 30:19 (NIV)

So you and your husband are a team. God is your Coach. Well, who is cheering you on??  All of us!  Your family, your friends, your church family.  We are all here for you!  We are your wildest fans!  We are lifting you up in prayer.  We are encouraging you at every twist and turn. And we are bringing you food.  (Because new parents are tired.  Y’all need a good casserole, you know, to keep your strength up, lol!)

Seriously, your “fans” are going to be there for you too!  Grandparents will want to rock their grandbabies.  (Side note new parents: that is when you NAP.  Have I clearly stated how important naps are yet?! Ha!) Family and friends will be on your doorstep with gift bags and smiles!  (And even better, with take-out!) Your church family will be so excited to see you bring your little one through the doors of West Ridge for the very first time! 

Another side note: it is no secret, those Bunny Room Volunteers in North Country LOVE babies!  I think the awesomeness of the Bunny Room is one of the reasons North Country is so special.  There are plenty of people to snuggle your baby and to read them Bible stories all while Christian music plays in the background.  Plus, when you drop off your little peanut in the Bunny Room, then you are able to really focus on worship and the message in the Sanctuary. Which allows God to pour into you, thus making you able to pour out what God has given to you.  Essentially, it’s a win-win for everyone!

So to all you couples expecting babies and those of you who are new parents, remember, you are not in this by yourselves!  You have God, you have each other, and you have all of us!  The days will be long, the years will be short.  In ten years you will look back on these days and remember what a blessing they truly were. You will smile and remember... You were never alone.

 Post by: Marcy Gates

What Mom Really Needs to Hear

I wanted to take a moment to encourage you on this Mother's Day weekend. No matter what season of motherhood you are in I think we all could use a little encouragement as women. Maybe your vision of motherhood has turned out exactly the way that you thought it would. Or maybe your vision of motherhood looks nothing like you planned. Either way I think being a mother refines us and sanctifies us. We grow, mold and shape not only our children but also ourselves. I know for myself I've grown and changed and matured through each child birth and through each stage as my boys are growing and maturing. 

So I asked myself... What do I need to hear in this season of life as a mother?  And I thought, if I need to hear this there are others out there who may just need to hear it too...

So here it goes:

You really are enough. Everything that you pour out every day is enough. The tears, sleepless nights, hugs, brushing teeth, combing hair, listening ears, dishes, dirty floors, praying with your little ones, crying over your teenagers, asking God for help whenever you feel like you can't go on... All of it is enough. You wake up every morning and your family is the first thing on your mind. You go to bed at night and they are the last thing you think about before you drift off to sleep. You put it all in God's hands every day. And it is enough! Every dance party in the kitchen, Barbie dolls hair brushed and Legos built, it's all enough.

You are enough because He is enough. He is your strength and your peace.  He is your love and your joy. He looks at you and He calls you beloved. 

He gave you the children that you have because He knew that you are the mother that they need. So when you worry or wonder if you're doing it all right, if it's all enough... Remember that it is, because God brought you all together and He called it good!

So on this Mother's Day 2017 remember that everything you pour out into your family is enough!  You are doing a good job mama, grandma, sister, aunt, friend! 

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” Proverbs 31:28 (NIV) 

Post by: Jimmie Lee DiIanni

Cranky Pants

I was already in a hurry when I opened up my jewelry box to pick a necklace to wear before I headed out the door to run errands. I reached for one, but after second thought, I selected another. And, apparently I put my cranky pants on that morning too.  I was in a grumpy mood for sure.  A few nights of the one of my kids interrupting my sleep with bad dreams, combined with fluctuating hormones (you know what I’m talking about ladies, lol!), on top of wrapping up a week of my girls home all week from school on spring break, and I was not a happy camper.  My hopes of spending Good Friday at home, reflective on the weight what the day represented, were dashed.  Now I had to run to the store and grab a gift for a birthday party the next day.

I hurriedly said goodbye to my family and hopped into the car.  You all know, I have a habit of praying in the car.  That day was no different.  I knew as I drove that I needed to shake that bad attitude.  So as my car zipped down the road, I prayed.  I thanked the Lord for the day, for the great sacrifice made on my behalf – Jesus dying on the cross. And I asked Him to correct my attitude:  “Lord, please show me who I can bless today.  Show me who I can pray for.  Show me who I can love on and encourage. Take this crankiness away from me and replace it with joy...”

I finished up my prayers, pulled into the store parking lot, and got out of the car.  That’s when I noticed her.  She was sitting on a bench all by herself.  As I walked closer to her, I heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit, “Take your necklace off and give it to her.”

Isn’t funny how God works? I literally just finished praying to bless someone and immediately this opportunity presented itself! That didn’t mean my heart didn’t start pounding as I nervously slipped off the necklace. I held it in my (possibly sweaty, ha!) hand as I got closer to the lady on the bench.

But as I approached the woman, I heard her, speaking loudly, confidently.  She was speaking with authority.  I thought for a second that she was talking to someone on the phone.  After a closer look, I realized... She wasn’t on the phone.  She was PRAYING! Trust me when I say this lady was approaching the throne with boldness!  She was on that bench, eyes closed, pouring out her heart to her Father.

With my heart still pounding, I gently placed my hand on her shoulder, closed my eyes, and agreed with her in prayer.  When she finished and we said, “Amen.” I handed her the necklace and told her that I wanted to bless her with it.  That I wanted her to have it.  She gave me a look of gratefulness and asked me to sit next to her on the bench.

She asked me if she was praying right, if she was praying enough.  I assured her that yes, it seemed to me that she was praying just fine.  I reminded her that we should always be praying. But whenever she was able to pray, that the Lord was always happy to hear from her. Then this sweet young lady asked if she could pray for ME!

I thought for a second, “What do I need prayer for? Crankiness? That’s kind of silly to ask someone else - a stranger even - to pray about my bad mood.” But then I felt another nudge from the Lord and the words just spilled out of my mouth.

“You could pray about my mood.  I’ve been kinda cranky today and I’d rather not be.” I replied.

My new prayer partner got to work!  We held hands on that bench and closed our eyes as she began to pray for me.  Cars drove by.  I’m sure people walked by too, wondering what in the world was going on.  But it didn’t matter.  As my newfound friend thanked the Lord for setting up this “Divine Appointment”, I was so grateful I had asked the Lord for what I needed – an attitude adjustment! And I was so glad I listened to that still, small voice and been obedient to the Lord. 

“For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:20 (NKJV)

I left that “Divine Appointment” and my whole day was different!  The crankiness had disappeared and a wave of joy came over me.  I returned home to my family renewed and refreshed, excited to share with everyone what had happened.  God had totally turned around my attitude and it was amazing!

“Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Galatians 6:10 (NIV)

Post by: Marcy Gates

Holding the Hand of a Friend

Several times, I have heard Pastor John or Pastor Erik talk about the kids worship in North Country at West Ridge. Since my husband is the drummer for the worship team, I have somewhat of an inside scoop and he often tells me I should pop in and experience how the kids worship. I finally took him up on his offer and sat in during kids worship one week. I sat in the back, because that’s how I do, and observed the kiddos singing praises to God. During a slower song I caught this beautiful picture that made me tear up.

I look up and see two little girls standing next to each other holding hands and swaying together. I know these sweet girls on somewhat of a personal level and as I watched them my heart was so filled with joy and I thought to myself, “This is what I want my friendships to look like!” And then I snagged a little video to share with their momma’s because I mean… come on!

I am sure I am not the only one who struggles with friendships. Especially in adulthood. When you are 9, friendships can be mostly easy. As you get older friendships get harder. Am I right? I want to be the type of friend who stands beside you and holds your hand, just because. Hand holding looks different in adult friendships though.

It looks like bringing someone a meal or watching her kiddos because she needs sleep to heal.

It looks like staying after service so she can cry with you because she isn’t sure how she can move past this hurt, the one that blind-sided her.

It looks like a coffee date in her “messy” house because she needed a listening ear or just some adult time.

It looks like ordering pizza at 10:00 at night because she had an incredibly difficult day and you are the one that understands.

It looks like a card sent in the mail just because you are thinking of her. Or a text message with that verse God gave you.

It looks like sitting with her on her floor while she sorts two weeks worth of laundry because she wants to spend time with you but… life!

Holding hands as an adult can look drastically different than at 9 years old, but the heart is just the same. The heart says I am here, right beside you, doing life and it’s a joy!

In Exodus 17 it tells the story of Moses having to hold his arms up to win a battle being fought by the Israelites. Not an easy task, such is life. I remember learning about this story in the context of friendship and it struck a chord with me. In verse 12-13 you see that Aaron and Hur come along side Moses to help him hold up his arms, they stay that way until sunset and the Israelites are victorious. Without friends like Aaron and Hur, Moses would have failed and the battle would have been lost. I don’t know about you, but I am thankful for the Aaron’s and Hur’s in my life when I just can’t hold my arms up any longer.

“By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.” Ecclesiastes 4:12 (MSG)

I would like to leave you with this... There was a time in my life when I felt like I didn’t have these types of friendships. And maybe you are feeling that way as you read this. I would like to encourage you to ask God to send these friends to you, to reveal them to you. He did it for me. He will do it for you! 

Post by: Jimmie Lee DiIanni

Who Do You Love The Most?

“Who do you love more, Mommy?”

My oldest daughter used to throw this question out at me daily when she was a few years younger.  Only fifteen months separate her and her middle sister; a three year gap between her and her youngest sister. Competition for mom’s attention was fierce in the preschool/toddler days.  (It kinda still is.) She was seeking an edge. A way to one up her little sisters.  Bragging rights of being “Mom’s favorite”.

And moms, we get this question so often from our children! You probably don’t even blink before spouting out, “I love you all the same!” Because, really, we do.  There’s no way you could possibly pick one child over another if you happen to have more than one kiddo in your family. Sure, there might be moments in your day when you might feel a bit closer to one child because perhaps, they were the only one who was behaving well that morning or maybe they were extra cuddly with you that afternoon.  For example, when little Susie dumps a whole bottle of yellow mustard on the neutral carpeting in her bedroom and doesn’t tell anyone. (Ahem, ahem.  Not that I would know from experience.) You may struggle with what just happened, but a second later, she hugs you and all is right again. 

But this time, when my daughter asked me the question, I didn’t give her the usual “mom answer”.  This time I took a minute and with the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I responded...

“Honey, I love Jesus the most.”

She looked at me puzzled. In her mind, Jesus wasn’t even an option. 

“But what about daddy?” she asked me.

“Sweetheart, I love daddy, and you, and your sisters too!  But I love Jesus the most.  Jesus died for me.  Jesus loves me more than you do, more than your sisters do, even more than daddy does! And you know what else?  The Bible tells me that I’m supposed to love Jesus the most.  Because if I don’t keep Jesus first, everything else in my life will fall apart.  I wouldn’t be a good mommy.  And I wouldn’t be a good wife to daddy. And that wouldn’t be good at all, right?”

She looked at me and let it all sink in for a second. 

“Does Daddy know?”

“Yes, baby, he knows.  In fact, Daddy loves Jesus more than he loves me too! And that’s fine with me.  That’s exactly how it should be.”

She pondered this thought for another minute...

“Ok,” my daughter exclaimed and bounced off on her merry way.

How about you ladies?  Who do you love most?  We have been learning at West Ridge through the “Better Together” Series that we need to keep God first, then our husbands, then the kids, and everything else comes after that.  So let me just ask... Is Jesus coming first in your heart?

I’m not perfect.  I struggle sometimes making God a priority when my day is full of running errands, laundry, homework, meal prep, cleaning the house (ok, I’m exaggerating about the cleaning the house part, lol!), sports practices, and sometimes more! But my relationship with God is important to me.  I want to keep Him first.  So if the laundry doesn’t get done because I need to spend some quiet time alone with my Lord, so be it.  The time I spend reading the Word and praying builds my relationship with God, keeping me focused on Him.  And that is not a waste of time in the least.  Just like any relationship, it can’t grow deeper unless you put time into it, making sure to talk and listen, giving it the proper place in your life. 

You know, it’s true, if God doesn’t come first...  If Jesus isn’t #1.... everything else will crumble.  You won’t be the best wife, or mother, or employee... You will not be the best YOU that you can be!  You will be distracted, unfocused, exhausted, ineffective, fearful...  I could go on but I think you get the picture. 

Sweet friends, I want to encourage you today if God isn’t your first love, consider doing some shuffling in your heart.  Your husband, family, career will only benefit from coming up second, third, fourth place to our Savior.  When we seek God first, giving Him the proper place in our lives, HE will take care of the rest!

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you.” Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

Are We Really Enough??

Let’s take a step back in time, shall we?

I remember sitting in a pew as a young girl, maybe around the age 13 or so, as the words caught my ears and settled in my heart. I don’t remember the exact words spoken, but it was a phrase I was quite familiar with growing up in the church. A phrase I would hear over and over again as I sat in church pews, chairs or just gathered with friends. At that time, I didn’t fully understand the words spoken.  Not at 13, not at 16, 21, or even 25. But somewhere along my journey I began to understand them better as I began to know God better.

“We all fall short…”

There is typically more that follows this phrase but it seemed to always stop there for me. I can’t quite explain why my heart wouldn’t hear anything further. I have talked about being a rule follower before, so it could be my proclivity to “being good”? Nonetheless that is where it stopped for me and for a long time this phrase settled in my heart as “I will never measure up, I am not worthy, I am not good enough.” And that is what began replaying in my head.

Now here’s the thing, those words are true. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23 (NIV). When we read this verse or hear it in a sermon, we are asked to look our depravity in the face. Some of us need this. We need to look at our sin head on and confront it. It should help us to see our need for a Savior. But I tend to have reservations about calling one to recognize their depravity. Because, I know there is someone out there who feels the weight of those words and they pick up that weight and carry it themselves. And I know that carrying that weight by their own volition will send them into a spiral. They will either give up under the weight, “If I can never measure up then what is the point?” Or strive harder, “If I am not good enough then I will try harder, do more, be better.” I know this because I have been that person, and I have been on both ends of the spectrum.

I missed the second half of this truth. For a long time… I missed it. I plead with you now to listen to what I am about to share next. Let this truth settle in your heart, maybe in a fresh and new way.

“And all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:24 (NIV) [emphasis mine]

That’s it right there! We fall short yes, but we are enough! You are enough because Jesus made you enough. And this truth, it changed my life.

So let’s fast forward to today...

That phrase “You are enough”, it has carried me through so many trials. It has been my mantra, my go to phrase for probably the last 5-6 years. When I start to slip into to one of those modes, either giving up or striving harder, this phrase serves as a reminder that Jesus calls me, “enough” and I need only to rest in Him.

I have seen this phrase start popping up again around the Christian blog-o-sphere and it is more so being written about in a negative light. The critique I have seen charges, “I am NOT enough,” and it is followed up with, “only Jesus is.” (This is true. What Jesus did though, made us enough.) It urged the Christian reader to no longer use this phrase and tagged it as “worldly”. After reading some of these critiques, it brought me right back to that place as a young girl, teenager and young adult. That place of “If I am not enough then I must try harder.”

What we must remember though, is this... There is no condemnation in Christ!

As with most things, I dug a little deeper. I did have this small moment of panic that maybe I was believing another lie. But this phrase, “You are enough”, it had gotten me through so much. God gave me that nugget when I needed it most and He used it to pull me out of a pit. So then… Was it wrong?

I asked God to show me.  And you know, you can do that too!! Never be afraid to ask and seek.  God is not afraid of our questions.  When you seek Him earnestly, you will find Him! “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5 (NIV)

I’d like to share with you what I believe God said to me (in our own little way of communicating).

“You are enough. Everything you have poured out at the end of the day, is enough. Just like the woman who gave her two pennies, you are enough.”

And I thank God for it! Friends, we must test and prove everything. When we ask God to reveal Himself for us, He does.

“But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.  Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”” Mark 12: 42-44 (NIV)

Side note: I’d like to point out that shortly before this verse in Mark, Jesus says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” (Ch.12 V. 30, NIV) So when God tells me that at the end of each day, everything that I have poured out is enough, I believe him. Each day, I give it everything I’ve got and He calls it enough. Because, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that comes by Christ Jesus!”

Because He is enough, He has made you enough.     

You, my friend, ARE enough!

Post by: Jimmie Lee DiIanni

At His Feet

I’m going to share something a bit personal with you.  I am not fond of feet.  Oh sure, a newborn’s feet are precious.  Tiny little footprints inked onto a birth announcement – adorable!  But aside from babies, I’m not a fan.  And if you are a dude, don’t even show me your latest flip flops, showcasing your manly toes – eeek!!!  No thank you!!!  In fact, I’m not even very happy with my OWN feet these days.  The only thing my tootsies have seen is the inside of my fluffy, soft socks!  My poor toes are in need of a pedicure, desperately. 

So when I would read emails or articles mentioning being “at His feet”, I would usually think, “Ugh... feet!”

One day though, I was reading Beth Moore’s book, “The Beloved Disciple”.  It showcased the disciple whom Jesus loved (John 13:23), John.  John was a fisherman when Jesus found him.  He was one of the sons of Zebedee who jumped out of his boat along with his brother, James, and followed Jesus.  John and James were nicknamed by Jesus the “Sons of Thunder”. (Side note, how awesome of a nickname is that? Sons of Thunder?! Don’t tell me Jesus does not have a sense of humor.)

Listen, don’t get me wrong, Jesus loved His disciples, not just John alone.  But in the Book of John, this is how John is referenced multiple times – the disciple whom He loved.  And as you read through the Book of John, you will see, there was a different bond between Jesus and John than that of which the other disciples had. 

What sticks out most to me is how Jesus and John were so close.  John was so at ease with Jesus that at the Last Supper, he leaned back against Jesus and questioned (at Peter’s urging) who it would be that would betray Him (John 13:23-25).  Later at the cross, Jesus entrusts the care of His mother to John, telling him that she was now John’s mother and John, now Mary’s son (John 19:25-27).  That’s not a responsibility that one would just shrug off to any old person.

I began to think, “Man, that is how close I want to be with Jesus.”  I want to be so close that I can lean in to Him, ask Him anything, and hear every word He says.  Every single word. But I question, “What is stopping me?”

So this brings me back to feet.  Specifically, the feet of Jesus.  There are quite a few instances where Jesus and “feet” come together in the New Testament.  The sick were brought to His feet for healing (Matt. 15:30).  The sinful woman who wet His feet with her tears, wiping them with her hair, and then kissing and perfuming them (Luke 7:38).  Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and listened to Him while annoying her sister, Martha, who chose to toil away in the kitchen (Luke 10:39).  Jesus washed the feet of His disciples (John 13:5). There’s more, but I think you get the idea.

This made me wonder, was I shying away from the feet of Jesus? What was keeping me back, at a distance? Then I realized what it was.  Fear.  Fear of what I might hear.  Fear of being so close, so deeply intimate with my Lord.  Fear of ugliness.  Not my Savior’s, but my own.

You see, when you sit at someone’s feet, there’s a closeness, an intimacy that is established.  At the feet, there is no hiding.  At the feet, you can hear what the person is saying distinctly. At the feet, you are humbling yourself, bowing low, and becoming a servant.  At the feet, love flows. 

I decided that I was no longer going to let fear get in the way of what I loved – my Jesus.  I was no longer going to shy away from His feet, keeping Him at an arm’s length.  Oh no.  I’m all in.  I’ve chosen to push past that fear and lean in.  I want to hear Him clearly.  I want to serve Jesus and love Him.   I want to share in that same closeness that John did.  That amazing relationship filled with intimacy and unending love.

My friends, don’t you? Are you finding yourself sitting at His feet these days or shying away?  Are you leaning in or pushing away?

Ladies, let’s choose to be at the feet of Jesus, here and now!  Let’s follow the example of Mary from Luke 10:39 and allow everything else to melt away for a bit and focus in on Jesus.  Press in and listen.  The Teacher wants to share precious words with you today.  Will you join me as I sit... at His feet?

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41 (NIV)

Post by: Marcy Gates