A Better Way

There are two specific subjects that I don't really write about or speak to, it's like my own unspoken rule for myself. Those two subjects are parenting and marriage. There are plenty of experts out there who have things to say about these two very important subjects and I am not one of them. In fact I sometimes joke that I really have no clue what I'm doing I'm just figuring it out as I go. I have this feeling that maybe that's true for... most of us! (Even the experts!) Recently, this little thing in the book of Matthew regarding marriage caught my attention and it has been on my heart ever since. So, I'm breaking my own silly made up rule and I would like to share what the Lord showed me with you. 

There is this passage in the book of Matthew, chapter 19, where Jesus is having this conversation about marriage with some Pharisees and his disciples. These couple of verses are packed full of truth and life so let's take a look...

First Jesus lays out the original plan, 

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:4-6 (NIV)

And the Pharisees question "Then why did Moses allow divorce?" Then, Jesus gives them a really good answer…

“Jesus said, “Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hard heartedness, but it is not part of God’s original plan. I’m holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery.” Matthew 19:8-9 (MSG)

And this is where this passage really caught my attention: “Jesus’ disciples objected, “If those are the terms of marriage, we’re stuck. Why get married?” Matthew 19:10 (MSG)

This is where I found myself asking questions. It seemed to me like they were saying "Well, if there's no way out then why lock ourselves in in the first place?" "Why commit if we can no longer do what we want?" 

We have heard that the statistics say that at least 50% of all marriages end in divorce. In the year 2017 are we still approaching marriage the same way the people of Jesus' day approached marriage? Would we be like the Pharisees or the disciples and say "If divorce isn't an option then it's just better not to marry!" Are our hearts hardened toward the truth of marriage? 

Let's see how Jesus responds to his disciples...

“But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.” Matthew 19:11-12 (MSG)

I just love how Jesus wraps it up! "...if you are capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it." I just love the truth and life in His answer. Marriage may not be for everyone and that is okay, but if you feel called into that ministry then do it! This changes the way I approach my marriage. It moves me from the mindset of "We have to get it all right, right now, or that means we're failing somehow." to the mindset of "We are growing into the largeness of something God has set before us." It reminds me that there is something bigger than myself and that's why I keep at it. To me, there is such freedom in His words here. And oh my goodness we could sit and unpack all these truths for days, but it's already been a bit lengthy, so I will leave you with this... 

Ultimately what this truth says is that Jesus gives us a better way. The law may have laid out one way for us, but when Jesus came, He fulfilled the law. This, gave us a better way! Throughout the New Testament, you consistently see Jesus showing us a better way to do life, we just have to follow Him!

I would like to encourage you to sit with this passage this week. Read Matthew 19:1-12 and see what part stands out to you. Where is God leading you? What is He teaching you? I know for me reading this passage was a reminder that it is about the heart we are approaching each season with. Am I trying to live this life in my own strength? Or am I looking to Jesus and following a better way? We’d love to hear from you! What is the Lord showing you here? Leave your comments below!

Post by: Jimmie Lee DiIanni