Because He Says So...

I am a recovering “rule follower”. This probably requires an explanation of what I mean by “rule follower”. As a child I tended to put the “rules” above everything else. I can’t really explain why or how this came about but I am positive that the reason was a combination of things, as most of our vices tend to be. Now, “rules” in and of themselves are not a bad thing, but the problem that came into play was my ability to “follow the rules” was attached to my feelings of worthiness. This mindset followed me through my teen years and beyond. In all honesty, it can still pop up as a struggle. Under the category of “rule follower” you might add people pleaser, fear of man and legalism. As I put my focus on “following the rules” as my measure of worthiness, it became my identity. I was the “goody-goody” I wasn’t just Jimmie Lee. I was Jimmie Lee, the girl who didn’t smoke, drink, cuss, flirt, party, etc. Again, not bad things to be defined by. Except that my identity was wrapped up in all the things I didn’t do rather than who I was. And while everyone else was defining me by what I didn’t do, I was defining myself by all the “should” I thought I had to do.

This showed up at its highest degree after I graduated college and entered into marriage/homemaking. The first year or two, out of the security of my parents’ home, newly married, starting a career, managing a house and raising a second grader, I was basically exhausting myself trying to keep up with all the “shoulds”. I won’t list all of my distortions here, we all have our own list of “shoulds” and you might be recalling some of your own now. I would spend the end of each day feeling like I failed… Big Time! I felt as though I was failing my son, my husband, my parents, my friends and ultimately God.

With the help of my small support system, those feelings decreased but the attachment of worthiness and doing “the right thing” remained. I spent a lot of my life feeling as though God was mad at me… Had those moments? Are you currently there? 

It wasn’t until after I had my second child that I started to get a grip on reality. To be exact it was about two years after he was born that I began what I refer to as my grace journey. I started yielding to God and allowing Him to heal me from this life of “rules”, “shoulds” and legalism. It has been a ride for sure, but I like to look at myself as being in “recovery” because my heart is being transformed and renewed daily. I like to keep my heart in check so when I read the following verse a few months back, I knew it wasn’t just for me and I felt compelled to share this with you...

Isaiah 54:8-10 (MSG)

In an outburst of anger I turned my back on you—

    but only for a moment.

It’s with lasting love

    that I’m tenderly caring for you.

“This exile is just like the days of Noah for me:

    I promised then that the waters of Noah

    would never again flood the earth.

I’m promising now no more anger,

    no more dressing you down.

For even if the mountains walk away

    and the hills fall to pieces,

My love won’t walk away from you,

my covenant commitment of peace won’t fall apart.”

    The God who has compassion on you says so.

For even if the mountains walk away… My love won’t walk away from you… The God who has compassion on you says so. I hope that this brings you joy! You see part of God’s promise to us is that His love will not walk away from us, it will not leave us. His love will never fail us no matter how big we feel like we have failed.

God’s not mad at me, because He says so!

That is a promise, a truth, his covenant with us as believers in Christ! Isn’t that good news? I’m so glad for it! I am so thankful for God’s faithfulness. His love, He himself, is always there.

Psalm 139:7-10 (NIV)

Where can I go from your Spirit?

    Where can I flee from your presence?

 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

 even there your hand will guide me,

    your right hand will hold me fast

Be hopeful today sweet sisters!

How can we pray for you today? Do you struggle with “rule following”, trying to please everyone or just plain legalism? Are you struggling with something else? We want to stand with you in prayer! Leave a comment below or email us at: women@westridge.cc

Post by: Jimmie Lee DiIanni