Have you heard the idea of finding “The One”? Have you fell in to that thought process or teaching that there is someone out there who is “The One” and at the right moment God will show you with neon signs and flashing lights that this person is, in fact “The One” you are supposed to marry? Okay, maybe that was a tad dramatic, but I believe that it is not far from the mentality that has been taught over the years. And so, if you have found yourself leaning on this way of thinking I would like to offer you a fresh perspective, a perspective that allows God to be the center rather than a puppet master pulling strings.
So here are…
Three Points To Turn Your Perspective
While Waiting for “The One”!
1)
Become “The
One”
If you are
focused on finding “The One”, are you focusing on what is happening in your
heart? Are you allowing God to mold your heart to look like His? You see when
we set our sights on finding “The One” we are putting this person up on a pedestal,
elevating them above God. Instead we should be learning how to be the wife God
is calling us to be. Allow God to teach you how to do relationships well. He
has a whole instruction manual on how to love others and serve them well. This
should be our goal when looking for a spouse, to love and serve them well. Let’s
spend our dating or single years allowing God to teach us and prepare us for
the marriage we will enter into in the future.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first”,
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel.
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 (MSG)
2)
Keep God
First
That idea of
“The One” that we elevate, sets these high standards that no one can live up
to! We think that when we find that perfect person that we will be fulfilled.
We tend to fall into the line of thinking that they will complete us. This is
dangerous territory. No person can fulfill that longing, satisfy our needs or
complete us. Only God can fill that longing for wholeness! There are two
mistakes that can happen when we put “The One” in that place only God can fill.
First, we drum up this idea of who “The One” is and what they need to be. Maybe
we meet someone who we think is “The
One” but we already have this idea of them in our heads that they can’t live up
to. It is a set up for failure. The second is we then wrap our identity up in
that person, or who we think that person is. When we have our identity wrapped
up in a person and they fail, then we get hurt. We are then left with no idea
who we are.
Dear ones,
we must look to finding who we are in Christ. If you are spending your time
seeking the Lord, it is there you will find yourself. As you seek Him and what
He wants for you, He will guide you and show you people around you that are
seeking the same thing!
3)
Good
Marriages Don’t Just Happen
Following
the idea of “The One” leads us to believe that finding that person means we
will have a good marriage. Good marriages
aren’t found they are made. Good marriages take two
imperfect people choosing each other every day. Finding “The One” does not
guarantee a good marriage. When both of you are seeking Christ and keeping Him
at the center - that is what guarantees a successful marriage.
My hope
always is that you find encouragement and freedom! So I pray that you have
found freedom from all that pressure! Find your identity and confidence in Him!
He always, always, always, has your best in mind!
With Love,
Jimmie Lee
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