Freedom in Identity

Our post today comes to you from the lovely and talented Jimmie Lee Dilanni!  Jimmie Lee is a member of the Kingdom Life Team.  She shares with us what she has learned over the last few years, on her journey seeking freedom from insecurity and depression (because even Christians struggle too). Along that journey, God revealed to her that there is freedom in knowing who you are, whose you are and who he is. He showed her that freedom flows from knowing in your heart who your identity comes from. Her prayer and ours is that God will use her story to encourage you!

"And may I ever remember that no one gets to tell me who I am except my Father. Any commentaries about identity, either out there or in here, may I let them gently go." -Emily Freeman from Chatting at the Sky 

I have spent a large part of my life placing my identity in the hands of others. Looking to other's opinions of me and allowing my perception of their beliefs to shape my identity. I let myself believe the lies and in turn took on those labels as my identity. 

Shall we start at the beginning? I was quiet as a child, one might say unusually quiet and so I was quickly labeled as shy at a very young age. Because of this, I believed for a very long time that I was shy. Maybe there were moments of shyness or circumstances where I was shy, but overall I was not shy. That's identity lie #1: Too Shy.

Fast forward several years and you would find a very scared 15 year old girl pregnant with her first child. And you would see a depleted and aching soul due to an unhealthy relationship filled with mental and emotional abuse. As you can imagine, I lost my true identity pretty quickly after being immersed in that trying time. I spent the next 4 years seeking the courage to get myself out of that terrible relationship and move forward. I didn't escape unscathed. Identity lie #2: Not Good Enough.

I spent my college years and the beginning of my married years trying to combat all the lies I had let shape me, fighting to find out who I was. I was living the 'try hard' life, always striving. Trying to do all and be all for everyone. All the while, feeling like I was 'this close' to drowning, barely keeping my head above water. Searching for myself but always coming up empty handed, no matter what I tried to find my identity in. I wasn't a good enough mom, or a good enough wife. Not a good enough social worker, Christian or friend. I wasn't good enough because I was leaning on my own understanding, my perception of what the world thought my life should look like. I didn't measure up.

Friends, I was looking to the wrong source. I was barking up the wrong tree, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. What I needed was the Tree of Life!  I started seeking and asking God to show me who I was. He is so patient and so faithful! As I look back I can pin point moments in my life, people that He used to break my chains. 

You know it wasn't until I was pregnant with my second son, that I got free from identity lie # 1, shyness. To make a long story short, a friend of mine I trust as a spiritual mentor looked at me and said, "Jimmie Lee, you are not shy." 

I rebutted "Oh, but yes I am." 

And she said, "No, I don't think you are shy." 

I argued back again, "but you didn't know me in the past, I was so shy I couldn't even say hello to people..." 

She politely interrupted and lovingly said "No, you aren't understanding. I don't think you are shy because that is just a label. When people say that my daughter is shy, I correct them and explain she is just scoping things out." 

I started balling right there in the middle of the cafe. Because for the first time, I was seeing myself in a new way, the way God wanted me to myself. I had never fathomed that it was possible for me not be shy.I knew God had used my friend to break that chain and set me forward in my journey to freedom.  

For the last 3 years I have been on this journey and God has been walking with me along the way providing just what I need in each moment. With each new step I walk deeper and deeper into the freedom that only Jesus Christ can provide.  

So sisters I want you to know that YOU are loved and known by your Father in Heaven!!! You don't have to look to others for validation anymore. You don't have to believe the lies! What Jesus has for you is so much better. So I want you to know right where you are, right now, you are... 

a good enough mom 

a good enough wife 

a good enough sister 

a good enough friend 

and a good enough Christian!  

God created you just the way you are. Those things that you think are flaws, maybe they are really strengths? God gave you those things because He has a purpose and a plan. Just ask Him… Ask Him to show you how he sees you, I dare you ;)  

I leave you with a challenge! In your quiet time this week read Psalm 139 and just let that truth penetrate your Soul and Spirit. 

If you are interested in learning more about freedom in identity, the Kingdom Life Foundations weekend is coming up this November 14-15! During the Kingdom Life Foundations Weekend, we will be exploring foundational principles of living life with the King. We will gain a deeper understanding of God as our source of life, love and identity, learn to see things from His perspective, and look at how we can live a victorious life now by operating in God's authority and power!  For more information or to sign up email kingdomlife@westridge.cc.