I Should Be...

I should be freaking out right now.  In fact, I should have been freaking out for a month now, at least. 

Deadlines.
Business/work pressures.
Kids.
Responsibilities.
Unexpected bad news.
Holidays.

The month of November has been full of ups and downs. And there’s every indication that December will be more of the same. But this season has been different for me. It would not be unusual for me to have mini meltdowns silently in my head for weeks, fretting over the things on the list above, only to have it all spill out in a major meltdown with tears and snot bubbles.

But this season, I’m finding myself much less stressed.  Things I used to worry about no longer cause my stomach to clench in knots.  In fact, I’m going to be bold and say that this season has been a season of peace. Now don’t get me wrong, I have shed some tears and had a couple moments of silent panic this month but it has not overtaken me.  

So what is different for me this month than in the past? My thoughts.

Philippians 4:6 instructs us not to be anxious about anything.  We are told to bring our prayers and requests to God with a thankful heart.  And then when we do that, the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds.  

But, you might say, “I’ve done that and I am still fearful, worried, stressed, etc....”

Well, let’s keep reading in Philippians, because this is key to moving forward...

“Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

After you have prayed, after you have cried out to God – where do your thoughts go? Are they heading back into the mire of worry and stress?  Are they diving deep into the dark unknowns? Are you trying to be two steps ahead of whatever is chasing you down?

As I have navigated this month, I’ve tried to be very careful and purposeful in where my thoughts go.  And I’m not talking about “the power of positive thinking” here.  I’m talking about focusing my thoughts on Christ. After I have prayed and allowed God’s peace to wash over me, I’ve been careful to not let my thoughts wander but to keep them focused on God. My desire is to hold on to the peace He has graciously given me.

“You keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.” Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)

Where are your thoughts heading today? What’s trying to dominate your mind? May I offer up a bit of direction? Here’s where I have been trying to steer my thoughts to lately... 

Whatever is true – remembering all I know about God from what He has revealed in His Word.
Whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable – focusing in on Jesus and all He has done for me.
Whatever is excellent or praiseworthy – keeping my eyes open for all God is doing right now in front of me and thanking Him for it!

I hope that helps you, sweet friend, as much as it has been helping me!  May we move forward with our thoughts fixed on Christ and resting in the abundant peace that only He can give!

Post by: Marcy Gates

Whatever They Do...

Recently while I was at work one day, a customer wrote out a check to pay for her purchase. As I wrote down the information from her driver’s license, I noticed that she was born in 1924! My immediate thought was a question, “I wonder what she thinks about our culture today and the way the world has changed?” I kind of wanted to ask her out for a cup of coffee! I had so many questions! But a lot of times, I’m still shy, so I never asked her because I thought she would think I was weird.

The next day while I was counting money in the office, there was a note on her check for me. It read, “Was this woman really 93?!” It made me chuckle a little. But I just couldn’t stop thinking about how much life this woman has seen. What was it like in 1924? How have things changed for the better? How have things changed for the worse? 

And then I thought about the people in my life who have come before me, my great aunts and uncles, my grandparents, my parents, etc. I thought about the legacy they have left on my life and the legacy they have left on the lives of my children.

Our “Young Fishers of Men” series at West Ridge that Pastor John just took us through also came to mind. And I just felt an overwhelming thankfulness that I’m part of a church community who is passionate about investing in our young people. Another question I wanted to ask that 93-year-old customer was what she thought about this younger generation. As the parent of a teenager, and a leader in our youth group, I must say that I think this new generation gets a bad rap. Much like with anything else, you can’t really know about something unless you spend time learning about it. I have to say the teenagers in my life tend to blow me away over and over again. They struggle with the same things that I struggled with is a teenager and probably the same things that you struggled with as a teenager too. But ultimately the way they think, their heart, their passion, it all just blows me away!

I remember needing somebody in my corner when I was a teenager and young adult. I am proud to be part of a community that is going to stand in the next generation’s corner, cheer them on, and help them rise up to be the individuals that God made them to be. As we talked about in the series, so many young people in the Bible served God and changed the world for His kingdom and for His glory. We learned that age doesn’t matter, God can use anybody for His purposes. It’s with this perspective that we choose to move forward and invest in God’s kids of all ages!

And I just love when God makes these little connections for me whether it is between a sermon series at church, Bible verses in my devotional time, or whatever the case may be.  When these little connections pop up it’s a reminder to me that God cares and that He listens and that He still speaking.

At West Ridge, we are in a new series called, “Bless”. When we were discussing this past Sunday’s message in our small group, the end of Psalm 1:3 stood out to me, “...whatever they do, prospers.” (I’ll post the entire verse at the end of my post.) When a person follows the decrees of the Lord, whatever they do prospers.

Immediately my children, and their peers popped into my head! You see God is blessing and His blessing is eternal. Whatever they do, prospers. My children, your children, your neighbor’s children, they are a blessing from God. Much like a tree, children grow, develop, mature... they prosper! You want to see God’s blessing in your life? I challenge you to invest in a young person! Be their cheerleader, their shoulder to cry on, point them to the Word that will root them like a tree planted by the water. (Amen!) I’ll leave you with this key verse from the current West Ridge series“Bless”...

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.”

Psalm 1:1-3 (NIV)

Post by: Jimmie Lee DiIanni

Lessons Learned from This Is Us

Pictured: (l-r) Mandy Moore as Rebecca, Milo Ventimiglia as Jack

Ron Batzdorff/NBC | 2016 NBCUniversal Media , LLC

I think half of America has been wondering how exactly Jack Pearson died.  And the other half wants to know who Jack Pearson is and why their wives cry so much on Tuesday nights! Ha! But seriously, the NBC show “This is Us” has captured the attention of so many of us.  It is one of the most highly watched shows on tv right now.

Last fall, NBC was hyping “This is Us” big time. I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to get invested in a new show. But after the first 15 minutes, I was hooked.  The characters on this show – the Pearson family, the love they have for each other, their life situations – all of it was so relatable.  So very real.  I watched and cried through the first season.  And I was counting down the days till new episodes began THIS year!  The family portrayed in this story is so endearing.  As you flash back and forth from their present story lines to their childhood memories, you get glimpses of what events occurred in their pasts that have shaped them and how they handle life now.

After the cry fest that was the first episode of this new season a few weeks back, I realized something...  Each one of the characters on this show, they would stick with me for days.  I would think to myself, “Ah if only Kate would do this...” or “Randall is going through this because he never dealt with...”

And that’s when God opened my eyes to this... “They never emptied their hurt pocket.”   

I’m sad to say, the Pearson family is not real.  BUT...  The issues each of the characters struggle with, their ups and downs – this is what makes people want to watch them every Tuesday night.  We can relate to them on some level. And if their story resonates so deeply with us, the viewer, then many of us have probably experienced the same hurts and problems as well.

If you haven’t watched the show, basically, the characters are haunted by the unresolved pain, hurt, and guilt they feel over their father’s (Jack Pearson) untimely death.  Seemingly, every choice they made moving forward in their lives was a result of that initial pain (with a few other childhood hurts thrown in there too).  But the death of their dad is a pain that runs so deep, one of them can’t even bring herself to speak the words to explain to her fiancé just exactly how her dad died! It’s just too gut-wrenching for her.

I know, you may be saying, hold on... Just what is a “hurt pocket”? Well basically, as Jimmy Evans puts it, it’s where we “store” up the pain we have experienced in life.  Often we carry with us hurt, guilt, rejection, and shame.  When we don’t deal with these issues (hello, I’m talking about YOU fictional Pearson family!) they will accumulate within our hearts. Thus, filling up our hurt pocket.

All of those accumulated and unresolved hurts, the build-up of all that pain...  well, we see that played out in “This is Us” for the Big 3, as Jack Pearson affectionately nicknamed his 3 kiddos. Kate struggles with her eating habits, body image, and self-confidence.  Her relationship with her mother is strained and she dreads her visits.  Kevin is an actor in Hollywood, constantly seeking approval and affirmation from others, codependent on his sister, Kate, often feeling like his family is a burden and a blessing all at once. Randall suffers from anxiety, wrestles with his identity as he was adopted into the Pearson family as a baby, deals with perfectionism, and at times is a workaholic.

Oof.  That’s a ton right there.  But it is a lot of stuff so many of us have experienced or are even dealing with this very moment. 

So what can we learn from a fictional family on tv? Plenty. This family is an example of what happens when people neglect dealing with their past hurts.  Listen, unresolved pain and hurt, it’s not good.  These characters show us that our physical, mental, and relational health is compromised when our hurt goes unaddressed.  When we hide it or stuff it down, it manifests itself. As Pastor John mentioned in the “Free Indeed” Series at West Ridge, time does not heal all wounds. 

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” They answered him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?” Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.  Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever.  So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:32-36 (NIV)

Our pain can only be healed in the presence of God.  Jesus wants us free from the pain of the past. The restoration and freedom we are so desperate for can only be found by bringing our “hurt pocket” to the Lord.  We have to stop hiding and allow Him to gently address these areas and do His healing work in our hearts. And it’s so worth it.  My life – my very real, nonfictional story is a testimony of this. It is worth it ladies. So, so worth it.

How can we, in our real, not made-for-tv lives empty our “hurt pocket”?  The first step requires you bringing all of your stored up hurts to God.  Share your pain with the Lord honestly.  There’s no need to sugar coat it because, my friends, God already knows all the details anyway.  The next step is taking responsibility for your own responses to the hurt and confessing to any sin in your life.  Lastly, allow God’s mercy to flow into your heart so that you can show mercy as well.   This means forgiving yourself and forgiving others.  Sometimes that can be difficult, but if God has forgiven you, shouldn’t YOU forgive YOU too?

Do I think the fictional characters on this secular tv show will bring their “hurt pockets” to Jesus? I’m guessing, probably not.  But you can.  Kate, Kevin, & Randall Pearson will probably continue to move through life carrying pain and allowing the hurts from their past to affect their present.  But for you... Your very real hurt, your very real pain – you can take that to God this instant, this very minute, and allow Him to heal you... That’s my prayer for you today, sweet friend...  If you are struggling, wrestling with old hurt, may you find healing, in Jesus’ name... Amen.

Post by: Marcy Gates

The Little That Things Stick

Posting what I'm about to write actually feels really vulnerable to me. I've written vulnerable things before but typically they are past vulnerabilities not real time, current vulnerable things. So here it goes... A walk through my mind and heart so to speak...

No matter how hard we try, the little things stick. I'm talking about little things that people might say or do to us. Or maybe random things we read. Those little things begin to shape us. Sometimes they can shape us for the better; other times, not so much. And thrown in between can be downright lies. We are not always aware of the lies, or how the little things shape us. 

When I was a preteen I remember reading a devotional. The devotional talked about how the grass isn't always greener on the other side. The context was marriage and the example had to do with laundry. And the only other thing I remember is leaving that devotional time with this thought, "It doesn't really matter how your spouse folds the towels, the important part is that they are folding towels."

I don't know why I remember this. I don't know why my little teen devotional magazine was talking that in depth about marriage. But, I'm glad it did, because I think this concept has helped me in my marriage. A little thing that stuck with me that I didn't put there on purpose. 

When I was about 18 or 19 years old, a co-worker said something to me that shaped the way I thought about myself as a mother. I was going to college full time and I worked part time at a grocery store. My son, would stay with my dad. The grocery store was basically on the same route to and from school. Often times I would stop to get my paycheck either on my way to school or on my way home. A weekly occurrence at the time. But one day a co-worker said something along the lines of, "Geez, what do you do? I never see you with your kid."

I remember feeling shocked, then sad and guilty, then angry. I wanted to explain myself, "Well, you only see me while I'm working or on my way to and from school! I obviously wouldn't have my child with me during those times!" Humpf! But her words stung. And they settled deep. And for a long time, I operated out of that lie. That I somehow wasn't a good enough mom because she never saw me with my son. That I was somehow not spending enough time with him. It was a downright lie. One that I held onto for a long time. At some point I was able to uproot that lie and get free, but that one little thing, it shaped me. 

Fast forward to today. During Pastor John's 'Free Indeed 'series at West Ridge, he talked about lies we believe versus the truth that sets us free. And I realized that there are these little things, lies, which I've let stick and have been operating out of. The vulnerable part here, I don't know what all of them are right now, but I know that they are there. So I'm asking God to show them to me, to reveal them so I can cut them off and move on. It might take some time (mostly because I can be stubborn sometimes) but I know God will continue to set me free. 

I think that's why it's so important to stay "plugged in". Plugged in to church community, small groups, serving, reading God's Word, worshipping. Little by little God's breaking down the little things that stick. And I'm so glad He's not done with me yet! The best is yet to be! 

While reading this were you reminded of little things that stuck with you?  Were there good and/or bad things? How do you combat the lies? We'd love to hear from you in the comments below!

Post by: Jimmie Lee DiIanni

I Had His Poster on My Wall...

I had his poster on my bedroom wall. I watched every game he played.  If there was a news article or picture of him, I cut it out and put it on my bulletin board.  I had his jersey with his name and number on the back and wore it while I cheered him on. I wanted to know everything about him. I even wrote him a fan letter.  (You guys, it was ’89.  Social media wasn’t a thing yet.)  At 13, I knew that the chances of meeting him face to face were slim to none. But I still hoped that somehow, I would run into him and tell him how cool I thought he was. 

Fast forward to 2010, through a string of events, I was going to be attending a fancy dinner event that was honoring this very person!  A person that I had wanted to meet live, in-person for ages!  I was a crazy mix of nervous-excited. 

At the dinner party, I scanned the room looking for the man of the hour.  My husband leaned over to me and said, “I’ll make sure you get introduced to him.” My gracious spouse knew all about this guy and thought it was hilarious that I was anxious about actually being introduced to this person and shaking his hand.

Then it happened.  This fella made his way over to our side of the room. My husband introduced himself first, then introduced me.  I could not believe this moment was happening!  My inner 13 year old was squealing with joy while my adult self was trying to come up with some words of encouragement to share with this person.

No joke, my head was spinning as I was trying to take in every single detail about the moment.  I just kind of stood there in awe.  My thoughts were racing as I tried to converse with this person all while being blown away that after YEARS of daydreaming about it, this moment was happening! I’m pretty sure there was just a bunch of babble coming out of my mouth as I noticed how this guy stood, how he tied his tie, how he had scars on his arms, and the strength of his grasp as he shook my hand. 

So why am I sharing this story with you? When a devotional challenged me to focus my thoughts on heaven recently, this event came to mind.  And I began to wonder... Will I act the same way when I meet Jesus?

Heaven just isn’t a subject I dwell on much.  I kind of feel like whatever I imagine isn’t even going to come close to what it will really be like, so why try? And is anyone else ever frustrated that it’s never mentioned in the Bible what Jesus looked like?  How tall was He? What color were His eyes? What did His laugh sound like?

But I've realized it’s good to focus our thoughts on heaven: “I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Phil. 3:14 (NLT) Heaven is our prize! Our great reward for running our race well.  And while my thoughts dare to dream about it, my heart longs to be with my Savior.  

Think about it...  I’ve followed Jesus for years. I bought His book : )  I read His Words and cling to them.  In fact, I have memorized them.  His name often stops me in my tracks and I am constantly on the lookout for all He is doing.

Honestly, I do long for the day I am in the presence of Jesus in heaven.  I believe one day I’ll bow at His Feet in worship, then throw my arms around Him and thank Him.  As I struggle to put together the words for how much He means to me; I will try to take it all in.  Oh for the day to finally see with my eyes His stance, to hear His laugh with my ears, to touch the His scars as I take His hands!

“No longer will there be a curse upon anything. For the throne of God and of the Lamb will be there, and his servants will worship him.  And they will see his face, and his name will be written on their foreheads.” Revelation 22: 3-4 (NLT) {Emphasis mine}

Friends, allow your heart and mind to dwell on heaven today.  Linger in this... One day, we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever and it will be more amazing than we have ever dreamed!

“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:6 (NIV)

Post by: Marcy Gates

All In

I have experienced many seasons of waiting on the Lord. Waiting for God to open doors, answer prayers or provide answers. Some of these waiting seasons were short, some long, some longer. Some even came with no answers; where whatever I was waiting for didn't come to fruition.

And you know what? I can't say I'm that great at waiting. Usually when there is something I know I want, I'm not content until I have it. Ouch! That actually hurt a little bit to admit. But it's true. I have a hard time being content in seasons of waiting, when I think I know exactly what I want and I just have to have it. Can you relate? At least a little?

I feel like I've been waiting on this one particular thing for an undesirable amount of time and God keeps giving me this word... Contentment.

Then I read an Instagram post about being “all in” in the season you are in even if it's not what you want, or if you are waiting for the next thing. And it just settled right on my heart. I feel like for so many years I've always been "waiting for the next thing" or phase in life. I mean seriously, I could not wait to be an adult. Like, could not wait! I dreamed about all the ways adulthood would be perfectly awesome.  Now that I'm here, I'm like... (raises hand) "Can I get a refund?"

But seriously, all that time I spent focused on the next phase, left me feeling utterly discontent with the phase right under my nose. So it makes sense now that God keeps pointing me to contentment.

I'm reminded of a story in the Bible that talks about a young girl named Rebecca. I first learned about Rebecca while doing one of our women's Bible studies on the book, “The Blessed Woman” written by Debbie Morris. The chapter on Rebecca talks about serving while you wait. If I remember correctly the chapter was geared more toward the single gals, but when I think about being “all in” in your current season, I'm reminded of Rebecca's part in the story.

This particular story is about Abraham's servant traveling back to Abraham's homeland to find a wife for his son, Isaac. Along the way he seeks God's guidance and comes across Rebecca. (Spoiler alert: Rebecca is the ONE God has in mind!) I just want to look at this one part about Rebecca that stands out. Genesis 24:17-20 tells us that after the servant asks her for water, she gives him a drink and then offers to get water for all of his camels.

“When she had finished giving him a drink, she said, "I will draw water for your camels also, until they have finished drinking." So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough and ran again to the well to draw water, and she drew for all his camels.” Genesis 24:19-20 (ESV)

This stands out to me because Rebecca goes above and beyond. She doesn't just give the man a drink, she makes sure the camels are taken care of too. This required multiple trips to and from the well to get enough water for the camels. She joyfully served the people (and animals) right in front of her face.

We don't know if Rebecca was waiting for God to send her a husband or not but let's assume that was a desire in her heart. She didn't sit at home, woe is me, ignoring her responsibilities, or wishing for things to be different or better (ahem, it's just me who does this, I'm sure!) She participated in her “right now” life, and she was all in. Seeing this in Rebecca's life is an encouragement to me. I think she was all in because she was content. I think that is the secret to contentment, right? Being ALL IN in the season right in front of your nose, your real “right now” life; showing up, serving the people around you, and meeting the needs that are right there, right now. It's good to dream and plan but don't let that get in the way of being content.

God desires his children to be content in the good things He's given us, gifted to us. When we choose contentment, when we choose to be “all in” we are blessed!

“That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.” Ecclesiastes 3:13 (NIV)

Ladies, if you struggle with contentment, if you are in a season of waiting, or perhaps the waiting has been a long road, I am right there with you! Let's learn from Rebecca. We can choose to serve while we wait. We can choose to be content. And the first step is being ALL IN! Amen? Amen!

Post by: Jimmie Lee DiIanni

She Did What?! (Part 2)

Thanks for meeting me back here for Part 2!!  If you missed Part 1 of our story, you can catch up right here: She Did What?! (Part 1)

So when we left "Bible Times" on Friday, Deborah and Barak had defeated the army that was on the verge of attacking them and the leader of the enemy army, Sisera, was on the RUN...

Sisera is in full on escape mode when he finds his way to the tent of Jael.  Sisera assumed that since Jael’s hubby was on peaceful terms with his boss, King Jabin, that this tent would be a safe place to hide out for a while.  Ummm.... Let’s just see...

Jael went out and greeted Sisera.  She invited him in to the tent, told him to make himself at home, and covered him with a cozy blanket (I envision a soft chenille and not some scratchy wooly thing, lol!) He asks for a drink of water and Jael does one better! She gives him some milk. So our girl Jael is really pulling out all the stops.  (Think Martha Stewart with a Pinterest worthy tent, lol!)

Sisera is feeling pretty comfy at this point. So much so that he orders Jael to stand at the entrance of her tent and instructs her to lie... 

“Stand in the doorway of the tent,” he told her. “If someone comes by and asks you, ‘Is anyone in there?’ say ‘No.’” Judges 4:20 (NIV)

Now, I’m not too sure about you but I can just imagine our girl, Jael, screaming inside her own head at this point.  Like, “No, you did NOT just say that to me!!!”  Because while Sisera believed that tent was a safe place, that he had found a friend in a land of foes, he was dead wrong...

“But Jael, Heber’s wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died.” Judges 4:21 (NIV)

Now’s the time to say – SHE DID WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Jael killed Sisera.  With a tent peg.  To the head!

Whew. Sounds crazy, right? But listen, there’s a big lesson to learn from Jael too just like we did with Deborah.  She recognized the enemy and did not hesitate to stop him in his tracks.  How about you? Have you determined the enemy in your tent?  Are you eliminating it?

Listen, I am not saying take a tent peg to your husband because he keeps snoring.  What I am saying is this, we all have an enemy we need to face.  The sooner you address it, the better.  And, I’m not going to sugar coat this, our enemy is Satan.  Often in our lives, we allow things to defeat us and they may have been things we welcomed into our lives, our households, our “tents” so to speak.  My encouragement to you is to be alert.  Be aware of when the enemy is trying to gain a foothold in your life.  And then address it.  Put a stop to it with the tools God has given you (His armor, Ephesians 6:10-19) because you can!

That’s what our heroine Jael did. She saw the enemy trying to make himself at home in her tent, where she lived.  She knew that she had the ability to remove whatever was not for God and/or from God from her home.  And she went to work.  She didn’t run away from it.  She didn’t sneak out behind her tent to talk to the other ladies and get their advice.  She recognized evil and immediately took a stand. 

My friends, we too, can take a stand.  Let’s look at Deborah and Jael as examples of strong, righteous women of God.  They positioned themselves to be used by Him and did not waiver.  They knew what God wanted them to do and were obedient to Him. And through their obedience, God used them for amazing things!

Post by: Marcy Gates