The Comparison Trap

Comparison. It can be hard not to compare ourselves with those around us. Particularly in our current culture. We have our little circle that encompasses where we live and that affects us. But there is also… The internet.

We have 24 hour access to what everyone else is doing, pinning, liking, and tweeting. Life can look beyond perfect in social media land. I probably don’t have to tell you about all of the ways ‘internet life’ can make us feel like we are failing at our own lives. Don’t get me wrong, there are very, very good things on the internet! After all, THIS blog from the Bloom Ministry is here on the internet, lol!

Social media can be a great platform for encouraging people and spurring them on toward Christ. You can also keep in touch with friends and family who don’t live close. But even with all of the good things, it is really easy to begin comparing our lives with our 1,000 plus Facebook friends, before we even realize what we are doing. I think it happens little by little. A thought here, a thought there. Then, by the end of the week or even the end of the day, we are feeling like we are less then. We get those pesky feelings of not being enough and just filled with “icky”.

Do you feel it sometimes too? Can you identify with this comparison trap we fall into? It doesn’t just happen in internet life. It can happen at the grocery store, sitting at dance classes, having coffee with a friend, or entering a church building. The comparison trap is one so many of us get tangled up in.  It is easy to think you should be doing things like everyone else. But you know what? That is a recipe for stress, shame and guilt. Things that are not of God.

Have you been beating yourself up because your kiddo's birthday is right around the corner and elaborately themed parties just aren’t your thing?  People are expecting a party and it just has to measure up to little Janie’s party that you went to last month. But you’ve been scouring Pinterest and are beginning to feel inadequate, like you are a terrible mom? Or perhaps you love cutting kiwi and bananas into palm trees for a fun snack for your littles, but your friends don’t seem to bother with all that fuss for their families. (Side note: My birthday is in August and you can invite me over for lunch anytime!)  Or what if your friend of a friend of a Facebook friend just posted awesome beach vacation pictures and you are sitting on your porch scrolling through them while on your “staycation”? Are you suddenly comparing her life, talents, etc. with yours? When the comparison trap is bringing you down, what can you do? Do what God has called only you to do!

I give these things as an example because God laid this verse on my heart and I just keep coming back to it. Galatians 6:4-5 says this in The Message version, “Make careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” Isn’t that good news?! Read it again!

God has given us all individual talents and gifts. I must say, if we are always concerned about what everyone else is doing, we can’t throw ourselves into what God has given us. Comparison can keep gaze shifting from the right and to the left instead of being fixed ahead, straight upon Jesus.

Ephesians 4:11-12, says it nicely, “And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ...”

When we throw ourselves into the work God Himself has called us to then we can actually help each other better! Galatians 6 (NKJV) starts out with Paul telling the church to carry one another’s burdens. He makes a distinction between the word “burden” in verse two and the word “load” in verse five. The word load indicates a job that one would be expected to have the ability to handle. It’s “doable”! The word burden indicates a job that is too heavy to carry. If we are carrying our own load, throwing ourselves into the work God has given us, then when our brother or sister finds themselves with a burden too heavy to bear on their own, we are able to come alongside them and love them through it. If we are trying to be like everyone else, carrying a load that is not our own, carrying a load on top of our own, or carrying someone else’s load all together, things start to crumble. The need to perform or meet a standard that has not been set by God, becomes burdensome and we can falter.

It is important also to “make careful exploration of who you are”. The way we do this is by seeking God and asking Him who He made us to be. This is the first step into walking out your identity in Christ Jesus! We can ask Him what He has called us to. And sometimes, our work can change too, depending on the season we are in.  We must ask  this question of Him often! When we know who we are, and what God has called us to, then we can walk that out in confidence. We don’t have to compare ourselves with the woman next to us, because we know the work we have been called to. But, if the woman next to us needs us to help her carry a burden, then we can do that! “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” Galatians 6:1 (NIV)

Paul also gives the church important instructions in the chapter preceding this, Galatians 5:16-26, shows us how to walk in the Spirit. By following this lifestyle, we are equipped to bear and share one another’s burden without comparison and without a negatively critical eye. When we get caught up in the comparison trap, we can bring everybody down. But, when we walk in the Spirit we are able to encourage everyone!

What are some things God has called you to? If you are called into leadership, God has placed you where you are for a reason. If you are a teacher, God gave you a passionate heart to help people grow. Whatever God has called you to, He has already equipped you with what you need.  Maybe God is calling you into a new season? Have you asked Him where it is He wants you to be? Listen to His voice and walk in that calling. We are all encouraged when one walks out their true identity in Christ! The Lord will guide and direct you where He wants you to go. You don’t have to look to the left or the right, because we are all uniquely designed by the God of the universe!

I love this quote and I see it often, “A flower doesn’t think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms” -Zen Shin

I like a bouquet of red roses. But, I stop in my tracks for a bouquet with all different types of flowers tied together. There is something about the unique differences of each one creatively put together to bring more beauty and radiance. God does the same with us. He creatively brings us together with all our unique gifts, talents, personalities and passions to bring about more beauty and radiance.

Sweet sisters, I pray that we continue to make careful exploration of who we are called to be in Christ!  I pray that we would not be puffed up or think more highly of ourselves, that we would no longer compare ourselves to the one on the left or the right, and that we would sink ourselves deep into the work God has called each of us to. I pray that we will continue to do our creative best with the life He has given us! That we would continue to walk in the Spirit, coming along side our brothers and sisters gently restoring them to Christ Jesus! I pray that we would know our Creator deeper every moment. Amen!

Post by: Jimmie Lee DiIanni