You're Doing It Wrong

Last weekend I took my three girls on a road trip to visit with family.  They were so excited to go because they were going to Grammy and Pappy’s house - yay! Also while we were there we were going to be attending a Mother Daughter Banquet held by their grandparent’s church. Dressing up and sitting at a big, fancy table with many forks at your place setting equaled great excitement for them.  Our evening was made even more special because my sister-in-law and their aunt, was the guest speaker.

My sister-in-law, Melanie, gave an inspiring message to all of the mothers in attendance that night.  She talked about motherhood, heritage, and raising kids in a Christian home.   She stressed to all the mothers in attendance that our greatest mission field is our children.  Then she said something that has stuck with me in the days since, “Our goal is not to raise the most popular kid in the class.”

How true that is!  Our goal as parents should not be to raise children who are the most popular or the smartest, etc.  Our goal as parents is to share with our children the love of Christ.  To teach them that Jesus is our one and only Savior!  What is truly important for us as mothers, is to love Jesus, allow your kids to see you loving Jesus, and to teach them how to love Him too.

But, how do you do that when there is a nagging voice in your head, questioning your every move?

You’re doing it wrong.  As a parent, I’ve felt that way so many times.  That voice whispering in your ear that beats you down more than you would like to admit.  It can make you question all your parenting decisions…

“You are a working mom and other people are caring for and nurturing your baby all day long…  You’re doing it wrong.”

“You are a stay-at-home mother and what are your kids doing right now? Watching TV! Get it together… You’re doing it wrong.”

“Everybody else’s kids sleep through the night.  My child wakes up almost every night for one reason or another… You’re doing it wrong.”

“Your kid just ate a well-balanced meal hitting all the categories on the Food Pyramid? Nope, my kid refused to eat anything except french fries...  You’re doing it wrong.”

“Those kids have a bunch of Bible verses memorized and can recite them perfectly while I can’t get my kids settled down enough to even listen to a Bible story… You’re doing it wrong!”

I could go on and on.  That voice can make you crazy sometimes! Constantly questioning if you are doing this whole mothering thing right or not.  Kids don’t come with instruction manuals, although don’t we all wish they did?!

Being a mother is the toughest job you will ever love.  And being a Christian mother is even more challenging.  How do you model Christ’s love for us and make sure those little hearts you have been entrusted with grasp that?  How do you extend grace to your children and then humbly ask them to give it to you when you mess up?  How do you raise them up, teaching them God’s precepts, while the world is going against all you have worked so hard to instill in them?

We all have different approaches to parenting.  I’m not endorsing one way of mothering over another.  What works best for one family may not be best for another.  Different moms raise kids different ways and that is ok.  That is a beautiful thing.  I don’t think God intended for all of us to be Xerox copies of each other. 

As a mother though, my heart is for my girls to fall in love with Jesus deeply. My constant prayer is that they will have a strong faith in God that will impact their lives and the lives of others from a very young age and that that faith would grow as they do.  My husband and I only have one chance to raise our children, and we are constantly praying that God lead us in doing that job well.

But I can’t do that well if I am comparing myself to others and questioning every motherly decision I make.  My eyes need to be focused on what lies ahead and not be distracted with what is going on to my left or to my right.  God gave my husband and me the job of raising these three girls because He knew we were the best ones to raise those specific little ladies! 

Your child or children are yours because God entrusted them to you.  He knew YOU were the right mom for the job.  He blessed your life with them!  You, sweet friend, are not doing it wrong.  If you are loving those little ones (or big ones for all you moms of teens & young adults!), taking care of their needs, protecting them, and always pointing them toward Jesus, then you are doing it RIGHT!  Mother them, raise them, and love them in the way God created only you to! 

You’re not doing it wrong : )

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)

“And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.” Titus 2:7 (NLT)

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV)

Post by: Marcy Gates