“Then he began to curse and swear, “I do not know this Man of whom you speak!” A second time the rooster crowed. Then Peter called to mind the word that Jesus had said to him. “Before the rooster crows twice you will deny Me three times.” And when he thought about it, he wept.” Mark 14:71-72 (NKJV)
Peter had just denied Jesus three times. In earlier passages, Jesus warns him. He prophecies that Peter in fact will deny him. Peter argues, “I would never! I love you.” In Luke, it tells us that after this final denial, Jesus looks at Peter and then Peter remembers. Peter remembers the words that Jesus foretold. And he knows in that moment the gravity of what just happened.
I love that little detail that Jesus looks at Peter before he remembers what Jesus said. And the very human part of me wants to believe that Jesus is scolding Peter. Imagine it. Peter charges with the last denial, his words still spilling out of his mouth, before he can finish a rooster crows in the distance and Jesus locks eyes with Peter. One might read into this as Jesus saying, “See, Peter. I told you so.” But knowing what I know about Jesus that is not at all what his eyes were saying. I believe that Jesus is saying to Peter, “I still love you. Even in this moment when the gravity is weighing you down, I love you. I loved you before, I love you right now and I will still love you tomorrow.” I am hard pressed to believe that there is anything other than compassion in the eyes of my Savior, Jesus.
But still Peter could not bear what had happened and so he wept, bitterly.
Ultimately Peter had forgotten. Don’t we all wear that badge sometimes... Forgetful.
Let me set the stage. Day one unfolds as the darkest of dark days. Jesus is crucified and buried in a tomb. There is silence. Day two, still nothing. His followers are getting restless, losing heart even. But the third day comes, this grace day. The brightest of bright days. And look, let’s see what happens…
“But go, tell his disciples-and Peter-that He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him, as He said to you.” Mark 16:7 (NKJV)
Do you see it? “Go! Tell everyone! And don’t forget Peter! Tell Peter.” It is such a small detail you might miss it. I did. Until someone else recognized it and pointed it out. Peter forgot. He felt the weight of the world. He felt shame, guilt and despair. But Jesus doesn't let him off the hook. Jesus remembers him. Jesus sees him.
I realized... I often feel a lot like Peter, unforgivable. Like I have to earn my keep, like I have to work my whole life to make up for what I’ve done. All the little mistakes, all the big blows, every single thing I see as wrong, I live my life to make up for. As if toeing the line, dotting all my i’s and crossing all my t’s, making all the right moves could ever make up for all the sin in my life.
I’m positive we all have Peter moments in our life. When we feel like we have just messed up so badly that we have to earn our way back. But I am convinced, without a doubt, this is not the way Jesus wants us to live. Of course he wants us to turn from our sin, but he didn’t hang on that cross for us to work so hard. He didn’t go through the agony, pain and suffering so that we would have to make up for it. That was never the plan.
Jesus gives us so much in that one monumental act. More than we deserve of course, but that is the beauty in it. He freely gives grace, forgiveness, mercy and love. Even in our mess, he locks eyes with us and says “I still love you.” We must only accept it. We don’t have to turn from Him when we are going through something. Jesus is not afraid of our confusion, our anger, our questions or our doubts. He gives us one last look and says, “I am going to love you through this.”
Forgiveness is sweet, my sisters. Taste and see. Don’t turn from Him, turn to Him. When your inner Peter rises up to say, “I am not good enough. I must earn my way.” Remember what Jesus did. He did not forget Peter. He made specific mention of his name as to signify his love and forgiveness of Peter’s crucial act. He does the same for us! He calls each one of us by name and his love for us is indescribable!
Post by: Jimmie Lee
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