Holiday Chair

This past Thanksgiving I had the privilege to spend dinner with my family. I was all smiles and truly felt blessed. But like many of you, there were a few empty seats at the table. Some seats were empty due to the passing of precious loved ones.  But another seat was empty due to unforgiveness.

 

I could deal with looking at empty chairs my grandparents used to sit in. My grandparents are now with the Lord sitting in the best seats - in heaven! However, to see an empty chair all because of a disagreement hurt my heart. Certain family members had allowed this disagreement to grow hatred between them to the point that being at the same table, let alone the same room, was too much for them.

 

Sadness came over me while looking at the smiling faces of my cousins. I was sad because one of my cousins was being denied. Her chair was empty at the table. 

 

Oh the holidays. Like so many of you, it is the one time of year my family goes out of their way to see each other. But now somehow had it turned into, "So and so will not be placing one foot in my house." I’ve heard many reasons amongst my family as to why things were that way. Hurtful, hateful, even resentful reasons.  Knowing most of the details as to why a member of my family wasn’t present, I still couldn't justify it in my mind. My heart ached.

 

I knew right away, I would not pick sides but do what I do best. Stay silent. Actually, I'm kidding. What I do best is talk. A lot! This was a time to practice doing what I do worst! STAYING SILENT. Then I was lead to pray and pray boldly! 

 

Remembering all the times God had come through for me, I decided to begin praying boldly. My family and I have had our fair share of disagreements and God intervened. So why couldn't He do it again? I had to choose the right way to deal with this touchy situation. I wanted to use this as an opportunity to trust the Lord. I wanted to quiet my mind and pray what God wanted me to pray, NOT what I thought I needed to pray. After all, I didn't want booted from my chair next!  

 

The first thing laid on my heart to pray for was forgiveness.  It is the hardest thing to do sometimes.  Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” I used to just pray for family salvation. Now my eyes were opened to pray that they have forgiveness in their hearts for each other.

 

Next I was moved to pray for trust.  Remember the story of Joseph and his brothers?  I’m sure that was an awkward dinner table when his brothers returned home but Joseph was missing!  But when I read about Joseph, he trusted God. I love how at the end of the story (spoiler alert!) he loved his family and forgave the terrible wrongs they had done to him.

 

This leads me to the next thing put on my heart, knowing when to speak and when to pray.  James 1:19 says you must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.  My heart was unsettled.  I wanted to stick up for what was right! But the Lord quickly spoke this verse to my heart. He pretty much held my lips together because He knows me well! From my past experience with my family, speaking too quickly actually caused more harm than healing.

 

Well, I’m thankful to report that God worked faster than I thought! My little cousin, whose seat was empty at Thanksgiving, joined us for Christmas Eve dinner! She told me she no longer felt hate but said she felt like she was “wanted” at dinner this year.  One less empty seat. I believe God softened hearts in my family. It’s an answer to prayer.

 

If you are facing this type of situation as we head into the New Year, lift it up to God in prayer.  I believe God will give you what you need so your celebrations and family gatherings will be complete with “filled” chairs in 2015! Place your trust in Him.  Be obedient and listen for His still, small voice. And do it all in love… #lovepeople

 

Post by: Bethany